I decided to
write this post specifically because of the experiences I have encountered over
the last few months and also the feedback I have had and overheard from various
and numerous events I have attended.
I hope that
it helps you decide what you need and what kind of group you want to spend your
time with.
I am going
to break this down into groups because, literally there is so much out there
and so many ways to connect with your clients, prospective clients, business
people, thought developers, experts and social contacts.
Initially I
wandered aimlessly through a variety of groups and events wondering at times
why I was there, as it all seemed like a good idea when I was invited and the
person doing the inviting was so friendly and enthusiastically outlining the
benefits to me of coming along - this could go on forever...if you let it or
you have a meeting that literally gives you a light bulb moment. Mine came while
attending an event at which a chap called Peter Alfandary (a Partner of international lawyers Reed Smith and also Dean of the firm's
School of Business Development) was speaking about
networking - it was open, simple and enlightening - I was impressed and
with Peter's permission will share some of his ideas and observations: so too
the chase........
The face to
face Business Networking system seems to consist of mingles, breakfast
meetings, lunch meetings, sales pitches and 30 second elevator pitches - they
involve visiting as a guest, joining the group and then bringing new members
who do not clash with the core competencies of the group (i.e. NOT 3 lawyers
all offering will writing) and then making recommendations to your contacts and
clients offering the skills of your 'new' friends. These groups vary from the hardnosed
very professional 'you have to make xxx recommendations per week to more
informal 'make the effort to connect people' versions. They range from annual
fees to pay as you go and they start anytime from 6.30 am to a 2 hour lunch
with a speaker.....yes it's varied...and it covers everything from printers to
lawyers to marketers to designers to virtual PA's - I have to say I have seen a
lot of Finance people, marketing and IT people at these functions but that's
not definitive.
Specific
Niche events and groups - these are a mix of women only groups or tied to a
core business group i.e. coaching and tend to be events to meet like minded
people or for the group concerned to look for potential business clients -
these usually also cost money in membership or for attendance and can be a mix
of training, socialising and selling your business and looking for
recommendation.
On-line
networking via linked in, plaxo, ecademy, naymz etc etc - there are also quite
a few of these which are specifically for setting out your stall - making good
profiles , selling your expertise, becoming an expert, answering questions and
connecting with like minded people and sharing and building relationships - be
aware that anything on-line relies on the other person's honesty and integrity
and not everything is always as it seems but don't be fearful to connect and
see if it's for you
Social
Networking consists of anything from friends re-united to Facebook, MySpace,
Bebo, MSN, Google and Twitter - a phenomenon in its own right (Dell sold more
computers on twitter than through their conventional advertising campaign in
2009). These were originally for purely social interaction but increasingly
they are been used to build relationships and emotive connections to like
minded people and hopefully not only play games and send little cute avatars
but eventually form your brand - who you are and gain enough trust so that
people will potentially recommend you or become a client or you can just sell
your service and product.
So with the
very brief outline (and apologies for not going in depth on each group
mentioned) where do you go from here?
Utilising
Peter' great advice - go back in time to Aristotle and the art of persuasion
and use the skills of the ancients!!!!
Use Logos,
Ethos and Pathos - According to Aristotle, rhetoric is "the ability, in
each particular case, to see the available means of persuasion." He
described three main forms of rhetoric: Ethos, Logos, and Pathos.
Ethos
is appeal based on the character of the speaker – Reputation,
capability, expert in
Logos
is appeal based on logic or reason – Need, reason for or to
Pathos
is appeal based on emotion – needs based upon an emotional connection
SO.....put
it all together and what you need to do is build RAPPORT, find their needs, and
fulfil them
For face to
face (and you can use the some of the same principles in all your
interactions)-
1, To build
rapport you need to LISTEN – in fact 70% listening and 30% talking as a guide
2. Develop
your STOP mechanism – learn when to shut up!
3. Develop
really good questions – that means OPEN questions that allow the other person
to tell you about themselves and their businesses – aim to be interested rather
than interesting
4. Check out
the room for ‘open’ groups that will admit you readily rather than hover around
a ‘closed’ group – just standing there will also make you feel very
uncomfortable and ‘unwelcome’
5. If you
can and have the confidence then ‘Forget ‘ your cards – better to be offered
contact details openly than ‘force’ your own on someone who doesn’t really want
it and is just been polite
6. If you
have opportunity of a list of attendees before and event – check it out and
plan who you really want to connect with
7. Try to
remember – people need experts’ not sales people
8. BE
YOURSELF – This is key; ask yourself - if you made a good connection, how
disappointed would you be to find that it was all untrue; and how let down
would you feel – where would you be on the trustometer!!! Would you recommend
good things from this experience?
On-line and social
Well, I am going to generalise again here as it’s a
subject in itself but.....
1. Decide
what you want from it
2. Don’t
do it just because everyone else is, unless you feel a need and use or just
really enjoy it
3. Be
prepared for the time involved and the value to you
4. Just
having lots of connections does not mean lots of business – you have to have a
clear strategy
5. THINK
about what you say and what you portray on the web – news travels fast and the
web is the super nova when it comes to getting a message out there
6. Just
as you look for face to face groups – decide what arena you fit with and what
it can do for you and what you can do to help others (fulfil their need)
7. Be
prepared to GIVE and openly SHARE not just take!!
8. USE
the same principles as above
SO in a nutshell – key learning
a. Know
what and why you are doing it
b. Build
RAPPORT
c. Have
a clear strategy of why and what for
d. Use
OPEN questions and look for OPEN groups
e. Be
an expert NOT a sales person – it’s about them not you
f. BE
YOURSELF
As a final tip – there is a huge amount of information
out there and some great app’s that will help you on setting up profiles,
automating responses and reading about the principles of communication – so go
ask and go learn – you will be amazed at how many people will openly help you
or point you in the right direction – also don’t just throw money at it. Know
what you want and what you need, assess the value, plan your strategy and then
work out the value against the cost - whatever you do, make sure it is
appropriate for you and your business and HAVE FUN!!!!
